Stop the Single Mother Stigmas

We live in a world where being a single mother has a lot of negative connotations associated with it. While we can mostly agree that raising a child with both parents available is the perfect scenario, things do not always align with our dream world.

Single mothers face cultural bias in many societies around the world. Unfortunately, many view these families as incomplete without a father figure.

Trust me, I know. I’m one myself.

According to a 2016 study by the United States Census Bureau, there were 12 million single parent households in the United States. Single moms were responsible for 80% of those households. But, does that give the single mom help and understanding she needs for support?

You would think so, but no. People are simply intolerant and ignorant when it comes to the single mother. Even dating single moms has silly stigmas: “Won’t there be baby daddy drama?” or “She’s probably looking for someone to support her and her kids!”.

They Just Love That Welfare!

Single moms have to play double duty at home. They are fathers and mothers to their children. They are often overwhelmed when making decisions on what is best for their children.

Often, they often bear the financial burden of having to raise their children alone. Mom is just one person. Yet, she has to pay the bills, clothes, food, diapers, education – you name it, it’s on her shoulders.

Even if some women do get child support from Dad, the majority of single moms don’t get the full support that’s owed to them. In 2013, only 45.6% received all the support they were due. Another 25.9% received absolutely none of it.

Many single moms get caught between raising their children and providing for them. They have to find a balance between work and caring for the kids. It’s not easy. About 30% of families with single mothers live at or below the poverty line.

Do they want to rely on welfare to help? No, I can guarantee you they don’t.

But, what choice does it leave them when they can’t afford not to work so they can be the ones to watch their kids. They also can’t afford to pay a babysitter or daycare to watch their kids while they work. It’s a horrible catch-22.

I started my single mother journey over 12 years ago in a small, 2-bedroom apartment, a job in fast food, and help from the welfare system. I’ve sinced worked my way up to a 3-bedroom home with plenty of space, my own business, and no financial support from the system or any person.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come and how hard I worked to get here. It’s safe to say that other single moms are absolutely trying their hardest to do the same.

A Single Mother Has a Broken Household.

There are various reasons why women become single mothers. It may be due to death of a partner, divorce, abandonment, or abuse. Some even do so by choice. Shocker, right?

I’ve seen so many people have pity on single moms and their kids. Poor things, they don’t get the love and support they need. And surely the kids will grow up to be hellions!

That’s most definitely not the case.

The single mothers I’ve known throughout my life are some of the most caring, strong, amazing women I’ve met. And, they raise some incredible kids.

Not to toot my own horn, but I’m including myself in this, too. My kids are just downright amazing little beings. If you met them, you’d see the endless love they have and give. My household has never been, nor will ever be, broken as long as I’m their mother.

They’re Totally Immoral.

For some reason, there’s this automatic assumption that single mothers got pregnant out of wedlock. Sometimes that’s true, but others end up single moms when their husbands bail. It happens. So, let’s just cut the crap.

Let’s suppose a single mother did happen to have a baby when she wasn’t married. Oh, the horror!

I mean, they’ll only join the other 40.3% of children born to unmarried parents in the United States! Gosh, those unmarried single mamas are such a minority, right?

And, who is really the immoral one here: the mom who takes full responsibility for her child or the dad who isn’t involved like he should be?

By the way, that’s a totally rhetorical question.

The Children Will Suffer.

Yep, those poor kids. They’re going to end up criminals or living a life of poverty!

Hm, no. I can guarantee that me being a single mom has no reflection on my parenting skills and my ability to keep my children on the right path.

Barack Obama. Angelina Jolie. Alicia Keys. Samuel L. Jackson. Christina Aguilera.

Do any of these successful names ring a bell? They were all raised by single mamas. Of course, there are other less-famous kids of single mothers who grow up to be super successful in life, but we unfortunately don’t get to see their stories in magazines or on the internet as often.

Success boils down to how a child is raised, not by who or how many people raise him.

It’s way past time to shut the doors on these myths. A single mom is just as capable of being an outstanding mother as a partnered or married mom. She just has a few more barriers in her way.

But, don’t worry. She’s ready and willing to break them down.

Are you a single mother, or do you know a woman who is? Connect with me on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, or Instagram and keep the conversation rolling!